"You can't turn chicken shit into chicken salad, but you can PUT chicken shit in chicken salad!" Tom

 

"What if testicles were things you could lose on an everyday basis, that would suck, you only got 3!" Tom

 

"I wasn't very popular in high school, the whole 3 testicle thing wasn't very "in"!" Tom

 

"Everyone call Tom a Fuck head!" Mark

 

"Vaginas are more attractrive than a penis, penises are one of gods jokes." Tom

 

"Wow! How old are you? 15? OH MY GOD ~ Put those away!" Tom

 

"Put 'em away, if I wanted to see 13 year old boobies, I'd hang outside the Jr High like my father does." Tom

 

"I hope this song touches you the way your father does." Tom

 

"I watch my father in the shower, just like everyone else does." Tom

 

"Some people think we're idiots and pirverts, which we are!" Tom

 

"My name's Mark, I ride a scooter. I'm badass. " Mark

 

"Make yourself do something stupid, so when you really do something stupid you won't feel so bad." Mark

 

"The first time I masturbated I was 18, and I blew a hole in the shower door because I was saving up to long!" Mark

                                Tom Quotes

"Our take on punk is really just fun: it's fun to offend people and do what we want to. But it isn't that offensive. We make music for ourselves and everybody else who gets it. It's a lifestyle scene. If you don't get it you don't have to listen."

"I haven't grown up at all since I was a freshmen in high school, and neither has my penis."

"This is a scene and the bands that have been in it a long time deserve the breaks. Doesn't mean they've changed. We haven't. We're still writing songs about girls."

"We take our music very seriously."

"Humor has become so cliché and boring that nothing's funny anymore unless it involves something totally disgusting that offends somebody or makes them feel really uncomfortable."

"I study that stuff, man, UFOs ... I'll tell you that I think in the next year the US government is going to come out and admit that aliens have visited Earth. The reason I think that is that I listen to this radio show at home which deals with all this stuff."

After asked about getting spit on in concert he told someone - "Usually I'm too drunk to really care about it. Sometimes I'll look at my shirt and see a bunch of loogies and get all grossed out, but it's all in the name of fun."

It's cold, it's raining.....and this is the most boringest place on earth."

"I wanna have an orgasm on stage here, all I need is some light kisses to the tip of my penis. Just little small ones."

"We write songs about love, life friendship, food.....your mom."

"For me, sex with a girl is a race to orgasm, and I am undefeated."

"Just one boobie will make me horny as shit. And if you have three boobies, then I'll get really really horny!"

"I can't live without Mexican food.

"Marks penis only turns in a 90 degree angle."


"Is this healthy? The rain, the cold, the Germany? The snot, the nose, the fever?""

"I don't get boy bands these days. Thye don't write their own songs and everything is choreographed from their dance moves to how they have sex with each other after the show."

"Do I look feminine when I stand like this?"

"Fuck me, I'm losing respect for myself as an artist.....and as a lover."

"Humor has become so cliché and boring that nothing's funny anymore unless it involves something totally disgusting that offends somebody or makes them feel really uncomfortable."

"I wet myself at night when I'm asleep, just like everybody.....I spy on my dad when he's taking a shower just like everybody else in this world.....we're not just a joke band"

"We don't want to act like adults. Anybody who can stay in a state of adolescence will be much better off later on. Look at people who are working nine-to-five jobs out of college, and look at professional skateboarders or guys in punk bands. See who's having more fun."

"Please don't throw up your dirty toilet paper, we're not hungry"